The Pick-Up Artist

I found this VH1 show hilarious to watch because there is this guy, Mystery, and his 2 wingmen who are all supposed "world class pick-up gurus". The show revolves around 8 guys who are lacking in the women department and are longing for social acceptance by overcoming their fear of talking to and meeting women.

I guess this show would be interesting for teens that are clueless about what to say to women, because this guy teaches "how-to" techniques for meeting women to "geeks without game". His goal is to raise the confidence and "game" of each of these men and to see who is most capable of picking up the most women at the end of the season. Each week they have different missions to go hit on girls in various settings, such as a bookstore, supermarket, bar, nightclub, etc. There is a hidden camera everywhere the men go so that the "gurus" can give the men tips and tell them what they are doing wrong.

I found this show ridiculous because they are basically portraying women as prey to these "players" in the making. On the other hand, if there are men out there that are really this clueless when it comes to talking to women, this show might help them slightly. I just wonder what our world is coming to when recent television shows have become overrun with these stupid, mindless reality shows.

It's not easy being green, Pilgrim

And it sure isn't easy being an Asian American female, either. If you Google "Asian women", the first few results are Asian women fetish sites or "How to date, romance or marry an Asian Woman. Must-have knowledge for any non-Asian man". It's good to know that we're sex toys that need to be manipulated and tricked into a non-Asian man's bed, at least based on Google's results.

Search for "Asian-American women" on the other hand and the results are vastly different. The third result is a CNN article about how Asian-American women are prone to suicide and depression because of the pressure of being the "model minority" and an Asian woman. Asian-American women are painted as torn between cultural tradition and capitalistic pressure. These women suffer low self-esteem and identity crises at an early age. While this picture isn't far from the truth, I feel like it is slightly extreme. If the ending were any different, I would imagine CNN would be telling the world how Asian American women are frail and need to be saved. Throwing in the last few lines about how most Asian American women have overcome is positive, but I don't think it's fully explored.

Now I see a couple problems with this. 1) The "model-minority" usually applies to Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Filipino Asians. Vietnam, Laos, India, Singapore, Indonesia, and Thailand are just a "small" sampling of Asian countries that are ignored for those stereotypes. Some justify this by saying that India doesn't count because India was a British colony and Indians don't look "Asian" enough (translation: they're not pale skinned with tiny eyes). As for the other countries, they aren't "model"-esque. Many Asians are not middle/high class doctors, lawyers, and accountants with Ivy League degrees. However, those that aren't are simply overlooked and ignored. That or they own a restaurant or a laundromat. The dirt poor Asians suffering are simply a shame to their Asian culture and should pull themselves up, just as the model-minority Asians did. The poor are seen as faulty or flawed instead of victims to bad luck or a different wide variety of circumstances.

Now add all of these pressures together: academic success, corporate success, behavioral success, shame, and tradition and you have a pretty cocktail for a messed up group identity. Both American and Asian cultures emphasize success and respect. How the cultures cope and go about attaining this success, though, is drastically different. Maybe Asian Americans need to find a balance between the pros of both cultures. If we could learn to love ourselves more and remove the shame, some of the pressure could very easilly be relieved.

Murses

I know for the most part there always seems to be a lot more focus on careers that are less likely to welcome women. But as a nursing major, i am part of a career that has not done a good job at recruiting men at all. However, it has gotten better, but i still think it's something worth mentioning to get a different side where men are not as welcomed into this career. I can admit that when I started nursing school I was a bit shocked to see men in my classes. Not because I didn’t think men could become nurses, I just didn’t think men would ever want to be nurses. For the most part, at TCNJ School Of Nursing, there is always about 2 or 3 men in each graduating class which I think shows that males working as nurses has become a bit more acceptable. However, there are still some stereotypes and prejudice ideas that come along with male nurses.

I have been in clinical rotations for 3 years now, and I have had a male in every clinical rotation so far. I have always felt that my male classmates always were questioned about their abilities as a nurse more so than my female classmates. Some patients did not want male nursing students at the bedside because they didnt think they were caring enough as oppose to a female. During one of my rotations on a labor and delivery floor, my male classmate was told (by the womans husband) that he could not observe his wife’s delivery, but a female nursing student could. I have seen nursing instructors give male students only male patients. And more commonly, I have seen male classmates get confused for Doctors.

Not only are the negative ideas in the workplace holding men back from going into the nursing field but the minimal portrayal of male nurses in the media are just as negative. In most cases, nurses in the media are females and doctors are males. Even the models wearing the skimpy nurses Halloween costumes are females. In the beginning of the semester we watched the movie Meet The Fockers, and we saw how the male lead character was constantly put down for being a nurse. In Greys Anatomy, all the males in the show are Doctors; the same goes for other medical shows such as ER, and House. Even in a show like Scrubs where there are some male nurses, they make fun of the female doctor for displaying an interest in the male nurse. In some cases, most male nurses are questioned about their sexuality and are often seen as gay or a little on the "softer side" for picking nursing as a career path.

I really do hope that this trend of more men coming into the field of nursing continues to increase because it will really help out the nursing shortage we currently have. However, i do think that we first need to try and get rid of certain prejudice beliefs about male nurses. There are alot of campaigns out there like the Johnson & Johnson Be A Nurse Campaign that is recruiting both men and women to become nurses. But i still think like we should start encouraging men to come into the field in nursing schools by maybe having more male professors teach nursing courses instead of just the fundamental sciences like anatomy and physiology, biochemistry, and microbiology that way these male students have other men who are already in a field to talk to for encouragement and help them deal with the stereotypes of male nurses.

Beauty and the Media

I want to focus on how the media affects people's self-esteem, females in particular. The media has created this idea that women are not beautiful unless they are a size 2, wear make-up, and wear the most up to date clothes. This idea has been molded by media forms such as the fashion industry, magazines, and hollywood. It is a shame that a person's looks essentially determines their success in life. I'm not saying that you can not be successful if you are not good-looking by any means, however I am pointing out that the world is very superficial.

I have always been amazed about how skinny models are. Models have become the norm for what a woman should look like. The unfortunate part is that many teenage girls stress over whether or not they are skinny or pretty enought. Most models are severely underweight and suffer from health issues, as well as eating disorders. Did you know that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14! She was be considered obese by todays standards, however she was gorgeous and sexy and very much considered beautiful. Where did we take the turn for the worst and subject women to eating disorders and poor self-esteem all in the name of "beauty"?

I wrote a research paper my freshman year on how the media affects teenagers self-image. I sent questionnaires around several local high schools asking the students what they would change about their appearance if they could, if any of them ever considered plastic surgery, and why they felt they needed to change. A shocking amount of students, male and female, wrote back that they were unhappy about the way they looked, that they were on diets, and would definitey consider plastic surgery. Many of the students said that they got their ideas of beauty from tv and magazines. Some of them even told me certain celebrities they wanted to look like.

I just want to know where this idea of "beauty" came from? And why people, women especially, will harm themselves or pay loads of money to change themselves. Everyone is beautiful. The media needs to focus on all body types and appearances. The thing that makes us all beautiful is that we are all different. And that should be celebrated, not discouraged.

Dating Violence

With in this past semester Chris Brown and Rihanna have been all over the news and tabloids. The first media outburst was when the reports of Chris Brown assaulting Rihanna broke out around the time of the Grammy’s. Their break up and the charges against Chris Brown were all over the media. Shortly after this, reports stated that Rihanna had gone back to Chris Brown. Rihanna’s decision to go back to Chis caused many positive and negative effects.

In class we discussed how Revlon hired a huge polling company to see if Rihanna was hurting Cover Girl, their competitor. We also discussed how role models are sometimes held to higher standards and are made an example for other people, even during tough situations. Additionally, we discussed our views on celebrity sponsorships and more directly Cover Girl sponsoring Rihanna. Although Rihanna’s decision may be viewed negatively in this situation, positive things did come from her decision.

On March 13, 2009, Tyra Banks was a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Oprah thought that since dating violence had been brought to the attention of the nation, she would take the opportunity to discuss and educate others about it. Tyra and Oprah discussed dating violence experiences of other guests on the show as well as Chris Brown assaulting Rihanna. The main message of the show was that abuse often a repeated cycle and most times the victim goes back to the abuser. Tyra referred to episodes of her show where Chris Brown and Rihanna shared times in their life where they each saw abuse growing up. Tyra also shared how her ex-boyfriend emotionally abused her and how hard it was for her to leave him for good. Another important message was that abuse is all around us, not just in Hollywood. I think that Oprah and Tyra did a great job of showing this by having non-celebrities share their experiences as well as Tyra sharing her own.

The points that I would like to make are as follows. Throughout the show, Tyra made it a point to say that we should not judge Rihanna because after all she is just a human being. I feel that people were and still are judging her. I believe that Rihanna is considered a role model for many people and because of that she is got criticized more than the average female would have. I do however believe that Rihanna should not have gotten back with Chris after such a short period. I honestly do not think that Chris Brown could have possibly learned from his mistakes that quickly. I think that the couple should have taken more time to work through their problems before getting back together.

The situation between Chris Brown and Rihanna is an example of how hard it is to let go of an abuser and how abuse is often a repeated cycle. Although I say now that I would not have gone back to Chris Brown if I was Rihanna, I have not been in her shoes and do not know what I would have done if I was really in her situation.

The questions that I pose to the class are these: What are your thoughts on Rihanna’s decision? Would you think any more or less of her is she had waited a longer period before getting back with Chris Brown? Do you think that because Rihanna is considered a role model she should be criticized so harshly?

References:
Article From The Oprah Winfrey Show A Special Report: Tyra Banks and Dating Violence
Photos taken from Oprah.com: AP/Matt Sayles

What Would Your Mother Think?

Ok, so I will begin by saying that I have a strange fondness for VH1 reality shows. I'm not quite sure what it is that draws me to these shows, such as "Rock of Love" and "Tool Academy", but there is just something about them that makes them impossible for me to not watch. When people question me on how I can watch such terrible television my response is usually that watching these shows is like seeing a car wreck-you can't not stop to look. Watching the variable casts of characters (and let me say some of these people are true characters) will always make me feel better because at the end of the day, no matter how bad my day may have been, I am not any of them.

While I do find these shows to be humorous and I stand by the fact that watching them makes me feel better about myself, I can't help but feel bad-not for the participants on these shows, but for their families. Throughout this semester we have discussed the idea of the media being our representation of families, whether it be in the traditional sense of the word or in a more modern sense, such as a group of friends. While these shows are not "family" shows, it often seems like the people that go on these shows have no respect or regard for their families at all. The people on these shows are often promiscuous, borderline alcoholic, and seems to haves mouths that would make a sailor blush, and the worst part is that they seem to not care that there is a camera crew following them around and documenting every little thing. While watching these shows I can't help but think "Oh my God, what would your mother think?" You can never fully know someones family situation, especially not someone that you are only seeing via a television series, but I can't fathom that any of their families would be very proud of them. Maybe it's just me and the way I was raised but I could never imagine going on one of these shows, acting like a drunken slutty mess and then going back home to my parents and grandparents expecting them to still have respect for me. It may be one thing to not have respect for yourself, but the way that these people act shows that they clearly have no respect for their families and that is sad.

I am in no way saying I am an angel. Like many other college kids I have probably done a thing or two that would probably make my parents cringe if they ever knew, but I am not out there, on national television behaving in such a disrespectful manner. I am also not saying that every cast member on these shows is a train wreck but for the most part that seems to be typical protocol for casting these shows, and I think that says a lot about the diminishing sense of family values and overall respect in our society.

Gender and Reality TV Dating Shows

It all started with one simple premise: 20 men or women put into a house in order to find love with one specific person. This person ranged from nobodies, such as the men and women of "The Bachelor" and the "Bachelorette", to washedup celebrities, such as Flavor Flav and Bret Michaels. This type of dating show has spawned countless spin-offs ranging from competition shows such as "I Love Money" on VH1 and even spin-off dating shows that feature one of the men or women who lost the chance at love on their original show.

An example of this is Tiffany "New York" Pollard. She first appeared on the first season of, arguably VH1's most popular show, "Flavor of Love". She made it down to the final two and was not chosen. She was brought back for the second season half way through to "help" Flav decide which one was for him. She did not believe any of them were good enough, and Flav decided to reinstate her into the competition. She, once again, made it to the final two and Flav, once again, did not choose her. This spawned her own dating reality show entitled "I Love New York".

Now when one thinks of these reality shows, it is believed that these women and men are exploiting themselves just for the sake of TV exposure or for money. The questionable behavior creates a distorted stereotype. All of the girls that are on these shows seem to be the same, and almost create a gold-digging stereotype. No matter the intentions of the girl, there is always a question of whether she is really there for the person or is there for alternate reasons. All of the guys come across as thoughtless jerks, and the same applies to the men; the question always arises as to whether the man is there for the person or for money or exposure. The issue of gender is ever-present in these shows, and whether they create a bad light or a good light is up to the opinion of the viewer. No matter how far the boundaries are crossed, there will always be viewers of these shows and whether this is a good thing or a bad thing is questionable.

I admit I am a fan of these dating shows, which some people are embarrassed to admit. I enjoy the craziness that ensues. Many of the people on the shows are characters, at least when it comes to VH1 "reality". I don't see these people as real and genuine, I see them as characters.

I always wanted to know what other gender-related issues people think reality tv shows create, dating shows specifically.