In Defense of The Octomom™

Everywhere you look these days(Entertainment TV, Magazines, and in the Blogosphere) everyone seems fascinated with Octomom. What is it about Nadya Suleman and her 14 children that draws such a negative and hate filled response? To be completely clear – I do believe that Octomom is probably mentally disturbed AND attempting to make a profit off of her children. While I do not condone that behavior, I am more concerned by the sensational and judgmental response she has elicited from society.

I wonder if there are more layers explaining the response in the media to Octomom. Why is she SO hated? Could it be that the idea of a single mother proactively choosing to have multiple children without the benefit of a husband is SO contrary to the traditional norm that OCTOMOM has touched a nerve and sent us into a frenzy? Power, in any form, that cannot be controlled is a scary reality for any society. Perhaps the power appropriated by single women in America, as represented by Nadya Suleman, has caused a moral crisis in society by upsetting the apple cart. If she had a husband, would she be adored and hailed as the next Jon & Kate + 8 media darling?

I think the idea of the “Single Girl” has posed quite a problem for American society for some time. I remember an episode of Sex and The City that dealt with the idea of how single girls pose a problem since other people just can’t figure them out. Single working women in the 1930’s became known as “heartless women” who devalued the man and undermined the traditional feminine mystique. Similarly “Sex and the Single Girl” by Helen Gurley Brown, gives interesting insight into this conflict during the 1960’s. Written as a self help guide, the book intends to advise women on how to improve themselves to attract men. However, it can also be analyzed for historical significance as it isolates a snapshot of time during which many argue roles for modern women were just starting to change.

While most of the advice in the book doesn’t hold up (“Don’t spend a cent on anything you don’t need. You need iridescent gold eye shadow…”) it gives insight into the mind of the “modern women” at the time. Gurley Brown advises women do whatever it takes to get a man – even a married one. While it isn’t exactly a feminist’s handbook, it provides insight into the way that single girls have been perceived over time. In short, they have been perceived as a problem.

Perhaps people like Nadya Suleman, Carrie Bradshaw and Helen Gurley Brown challenge the status quo in similar ways that threaten social norms. Is the firestorm being thrust upon Octomom a veiled attempt to send a message and impose fear upon single girls of today? After all - good girls are supposed to know better. But maybe the concept of a “good girl” is really just a socialized construction to keep women in collectively desirable roles. Girls who don’t follow normal gendered rules, such as teenage mothers or female criminals, are viewed harshly – even more so than their male counterparts.

The manufactured archetype of a good girl is used to draw a line in the sand that establishes the ideological binary of right and wrong. Those on the right side of the line are intimidated by fear - altering their lives to meet the standard in an attempt to avoid victimization or judgment. On the opposite side of the line live the “bad girls” who encourage ridicule by their actions or who become scapegoats and are considered the source of the problem(ala Nadya Suleman).