Let me preface by saying that living above three frat boys has been an experience that I will never forget, EVER! I have been enlightened, not by choice, on the many occurrences of sexual frivolity and promiscuity that they all partake in. Never did I think that men talk about women this casually and freely, not to mention how degrading their portrayal of women is. They share every little detail that one can only classify as intimately personal, beyond private—things that should never be said aloud! These guys drink excessively and bring back different girls to their rooms almost every weekend. Partaking in drunken sexual escapades, they constantly re-tell their stories to each other, and we (my roommates and I) have the pleasure of hearing everything they say. These vulgar acts should be in porn. From the “trooper” who kept at it anyway to the girl who was “slapped in the a**” then told to “do it now, bi***”, these women are treated as objects. The funny thing is, the girl in every story does what the guy wants and likes it!
What does this say about the women who are at the other end of their relationships? Not much, that’s for sure. Someone must have really low self-esteem to participate in some of the activities that these guys mention. It is absolutely disgusting and pitiful! What have college students become? I thought we were more intelligent, here at TCNJ, but I was mistaken. Let me tell you, my group of girlfriends and I would never let a guy treat us that way. I’d break up with my boyfriend if he ever tried to do any of the things the “men” below do to the girls they sleep with. It is humiliating and disgusting. When we first overheard what they were saying (they were so loud we couldn’t help it!) we thought they were making it up. But as the weeks past and they kept talking this way, we had to believe that they weren’t lying. One would assume that they “enhance” their stories to sound better to their friends, but most parts are true. We know for a fact because we hear when they drunkenly stumble back in at 5am and take the girl into the shower.
I knew that guys talk to each other about relationships and sex, but I never thought that these people we consider men talk this way. It is not only demeaning to women, but a disgusting portrayal of college-aged people. Society has this view of college student partying and drinking excessively, being carefree and stupid and these guys just support their viewpoint. Even though there are awful men out there, there is still hope—they’ll grow up eventually…I think. The scariest part is that these men will become our doctors, teachers, and future fathers in society. Yikes!
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8 comments:
I think this post is interesting, however, I might add that I think it could be seen as somewhat of a generalization of "frat" boys. I agree with you that the actions of these boys are offensive and pretty disgusting, however, I think that their actions could be considered "normal" for the age we are at now in today's popular culture.
I agree. I wasn't trying to generalize about frat boys, more so about college aged guys; it just so happens these people are in frats. Also, I don't think this is all that normal. (I didn't go into detail on what they said because it is so vulgar I would probably offend people!) It's sad that this behavior is considered normal in today's society. But comparing to my boyfriend (who doesn't go here), his friends,and my guys friends--they are not like this at all.
It is disturbing to know that these kinds of things actually go on regularly in a college setting. Frat boys, or college boys in general, think it is "cool" to do these kinds of things to girls. Unfortunately, however, when disgusting behaviors (like you mentioned) go on, most likely the individuals are under the influence of alcohol, which is an even scarier thought. I 100% agree that it is sad that this behavior is considered normal in today's society.
While I agree that being disrespectful to your partner is never OK and having sex after you've been drinking is never a good idea, I have some issue with the judgment that I heard all through this post. Promiscuity, (by which I assume the author means casual sex) either on the part of the guys that the author lives above or the women that they bring home, is not a bad thing. We're young, we're unattached, and if that's what people want to do, I say more power to them. I know for a fact that women share these kinds of intimately personal private details with one another (sometimes graphically) so it's not just guys. Consider the view that adults participating in consensual sexual acts, no matter how much others might find them unappealing, is simply a matter of expression, and not necessarily a function of low self-esteem or lack of intelligence. If the women that are participating here are OK with what they're doing, we have no right to judge them or their male partners. Again, let me say that I do NOT support violence against or degradation of women, but by the same token I think that women should stand up for themselves, especially in these kinds of casual 'encounters', if they are uncomfortable with what is going on between them and their partner...and that people should probably speak up if their neighbors' conversations or "sound effects" are offensive.
I agree that women should not be talked about in that way but I also think that there is a difference between the way a guy talks about a random hook up and the way he would talk about his girlfriend. There's a good chance that he will never see the random girl again and therefore feels free to talk about her however he wants. If he were to talk about his girlfriend that way it would definitely come back to him sooner or later and he is probably a jerk.
I agree with myblogid. While I think it is wrong to discuss intimate details about one's sexual life, I also think that it is part of society. Women do the same with men, and it isn't just college-aged people being promiscuous. I hear high school girls and boys talk about everything about their sex lives. I bet in the 1950s, things like this was unheard of. I think it is just the way the world is now. All people are casually discussing their sex lives, no matter where or who they are with.
I have to disagree with labeling of the guys on that floor as the problem. I'm in a fraternity, and I know all too well some of the craziest sexual escapades that have gone down this year, but I gaurentee you that it was just as outrageous for the girls as it was for the guys. I know a handful of guys that regularly have what some would call over-the-top encounters on a regular basis, but I know just as many girls who act the same way. While you, and many others, will reject that behavior as offensive and improper, there is a large demographic of this campus, and every college, that is looking for that same lifestyle. To these people, college is the time for drunken hookups. I do admit, that this does bring up the long debated double standard of this making the guys into 'the man' and the girls into 'sluts' but that is a whole other issue. I just feel it is narrow minded to think that all these girls stumbling into your townhouse at 5 am are innnocent victims of the 'frat boys' upstairs.
I don't believe that it is anyone's place to say what is acceptable between two consenting adults in an intimate atmosphere. If anyone crosses the line with a sexual partner, that is a problem but it is not up to anyone besides those involved to determine whether that line was crossed, (as long as they are consenting adults).
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