“Everything you always wanted to know about the opposite sex.”

“Everything you always wanted to know about the opposite sex.”
Presented by Dr. Lori Hart Ebert
http://www.campuspeak.com/speakers/hart-ebert/#sex

Last night I went to a presentation in Kendal Hall about what shapes an individual’s gendered identity and the various influences behind its construction. During this ninety minute presentation we discussed the various aspects of gender and the numerous behaviors that conform to each sex. So without any further delay here’s a list of the various characteristics and stereotypes linked to either being a man or a woman according to Dr. Ebert. (Note: Dr. Ebert’s presentation is entirely based on quantitative and qualitative research.)

Women:
1. Women are complicated. Women question everything and need to know every detail. Women take excessive amounts of time to accomplish something. Women like to do more than what is necessary and are not satisfied until every detail is fulfilled.

2. Women can multi-task, and they’ll disgustingly well at it. For example, a woman can watch a movie, have conversation with her boyfriend on the phone, plan out what she’s going to wear tomorrow, guess what’s going to happen next in the movie, change her mind about wearing that shirt with those pants, remember that its her mom’s birthday in three weeks so she needs to go shopping, happen to be right about the next scene in the movie, and in the midst of all this, she’ll then ask her boyfriend if he’s listening to her. This might be a little extreme, but I think the majority of the ladies in the class would agree that women can multi-task and be damn good at it.

3. Women communicate through the form of questions. Women want to know everything that is going on. Women communicate for connective purposes. Moreover, women ask questions in order to stay close with people. On average, a woman says about 20,000 words a day.

4. Women also like to tell “stories”. For example, let’s look at a conversation between a mother and her daughter, and a father and his son. Both the son and daughter have the same class schedule.
Father – Son
Father: How was class today?
Son: It was good.

Mother – Daughter
Mother: How was class today?
Daughter: It was great! I went to my first class at ten. It was a little cold outside so it was a good thing I wore my jacket. Campus looks so pretty, the leaves are really beginning to change. I went to class and as I was going to sit down that cute boy I was telling you about looked at me! Can you believe it?!?! Do you think he likes me? He seems like a nice guy. So the entire class I couldn’t stop thinking about him. And then ten minutes before class ended, the professor gave us a pop quiz to make sure we were all paying attention. I aced it!

(I think you all get my point)

5. Women don’t like being alone. If a woman gets upset about something she needs to talk about it, whether if that’s on the phone or in a group with all her best friends. A woman always needs someone to listen to her when she is upset.

Men:
1. Men are simple. Men get right to the point, doing only what is necessary. Men don’t like to be bothered by endless details.

2. Men are focused. If a man is doing something, he’ll concentrate solely on that one thing. As a result of man’s ability to “be in the zone”, he cannot multi-task. Its not that he chooses to be this way, it’s just that he really can’t multi-task that well.

3. Men communicate in the form of statements. Men don’t question every act or detail. Men say what they need to, when they need to. On average, men say about 6,000 words a day.

4. Sometimes men just want some space. If a man gets mad or upset about something, he likes to be alone. Men don’t alienate themselves from society, they just like to separate themselves from the problem, and then they’ll walk back to it.


These are just some of the key points and examples that Dr. Ebert discussed. I found it interesting that in all the examples and stories she used, the entire audience agreed. Whether this overall agreement came in the form of laughter or yells, I can firmly say that the majority of both sexes, male and female, agreed with all the stereotypes and behaviors Dr. Ebert presented. I’m not saying that every single person agreed, but the majority did.

As she wrapped up her presentation she left us with the following two quotes. I felt that these quotes summed up the night perfectly demonstrating that all people have particular characteristics and behaviors that correlate with their own sex. As a result, these gendered aspects lead to stereotypes and labels; however, we must always remember that every gendered identity is different and that stereotypes, more often than not, lead to poor representations. Furthermore, every individual has their own gendered identity of who they are. The difficult part is being able to accurately see it.

"A WOMAN is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn't curve, by where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-26 and inches and ages and numbers, by all the outside things that don't ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because every woman knows measurements are only statistics and statistics lie."

“A MAN is often measured by the things he cannot control. He is measured by the number of beers he can drink or not drink, by the kind of car he drives and whether or not he’s at the bottom, middle, or top of the corporate ladder. He is measured by each of the numbers in his six-figure paycheck, by all the outside things that don’t ever add up to who he is on the inside. And so if a man is to be measured, let him be measured by the things he can control, by who he is and who he is trying to become. Because as every man knows, measurements are only statistics and statistics lie.”